Femininity is a set of attributes, behaviors and role that we generally associate with the female sex. What is the first thought that comes to your mind when you hear the word feminine?
Every single person will have a different answer to what they think femininity is and that is okay. Many people may not agree with my perspective of femininity and again that is okay as well. We are all entitled to our personal opinions.
What is femininity to me and what does it mean? When I think of a feminine women the first though that comes to mind is a women having ladylike tendencies, how she carries herself and how she responds to others. I picture a beautiful women dressed nicely on the outside but equally as beautiful on the inside. She is put together, well spoken, gentle but gets the job done, embraces her flaws while working to improve herself. She is modest and embraces improving her life and the lives of others around her. She is kind, polite, and makes others feel comfortable.
So why am I talking about femininity and how did this all start? Honestly, it started on YouTube! You know how YouTube will suggest videos randomly? Well one day a video came up about “leveling up” and I fell down the rabbit hole. Eventually, I came across videos focused on starting a feminine journey and embracing your femininity. The videos intrigued me and got me thinking about my own life and how I act and represent myself. I am ready to make a change, improve my life and become a better women. I have always believed in the roles of man and women and have always envied feminine women. I just never thought about working on myself. So my femininity journey has begun.
My goals are to improve myself both internally and externally. I will delve a little deeper into my goals in another post. But for today we are talking about “Speak like a lady”. This is my first goal. I picked this as my first goal because I have a sailor’s mouth. It is so bad that when I told my sister about this journey and my mouth…she laughed at me and said “good luck”. My husband has told me in the past I curse more then the men he works with in construction. So I am that bad.
Here are some steps I am taking to “speak like a lady”. They may seem small but they are big for me.
1. Avoid swearing
Swearing is unattractive and hinders communication. My personal opinion is it makes a person sound uneducated and downright angry. I am horrible when it comes to swearing and sometimes every other word is a cuss word. I know it is unattractive but it has become a bad habit. Try to find better words to express yourself. The next step will also help.
2. Think before you speak
When you think before you speak, you allow yourself some time to carefully choose your words. If you are going to talk then you need to be able to stand behind your statements and also take responsibility for your words. Your words can be harmful and painful.
Before you speak THINK
T– Is it true?
H- is it helpful?
I– Is is i inspiring?
N– Is it necessary?
K- Is it kind?
3. Control the volume
Know when to use you indoor and your outdoor voice. Be considerate of others around you when talking. Keep your voice and tone calm and respectable. Another group of people do not need go hear your whole conversation. Raising your voice and talking loudly shows aggression and is not lady like.
4. Speak with kindness and grace
This goes right along with thinking before you speak. We have all heard term “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” This is generally good advice. There is a time and place for everything. A time to speak with kindness and grace and then a time to speak honestly and be forward. It is up to you so choose wisely. I believe any conversation can be handled with grace, even the tough ones. Know when to speak and when to be quiet. And if you are going to speak think before you say anything. Another great point with this is gossiping. We are all quilty but make an effort to avoid talking negatively about others.
5. Speak with confidence
Remember to always think before you speak, but when you do speak make sure you are confident. Look the person in the eyes, speak with conviction, use your hands, speak slowly and softly and eliminate filler words. Filler words are words such as “umm”, “uhh””, “like”.
Each week I will be working on aspects of my femininity. Whether I need to keep working on aspects already discussed or moving onto incorporating new ones. If you are on the same journey I would love to hear from you. If you are not I would love to hear what you think about femininity. What does “speaking like a lady” mean to you?
Thanks for reading!
– Rebekah
Rebekah Taylor 
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